How To Decode A Player's Pattern: Busting A Heartbreaker's Game Plan (Girls, I Just Want You To Be Aware)
So I’ve been reading a lot of pinaasa and naiwan sa ere posts lately.
I am not saying all men are the same. It’s just that it has become a habitual flaw from my friends' sinaktan stories. So I’ve come to a conclusion of how similar they are in deed. Siguro based on a slight experience na rin.
Decoding a "Player's Pattern"
Like super randomly without legit purpose. I guess this is their way of validating if the interest is mutual.
They are of course filtering their prospects. They categorize which one they want to seriously pursue and which one is readily available to fill in and boost their ego when they are feeling low.
Hope that you are categorized on the better side of it. Otherwise, it’s a heartbreak in the making.
...even your weaknesses.
Do not underestimate the capacity of these men to stalk. They will read your wall and see what you have been ranting about. They will study your profile and make you feel like you've known each other all your life and that he was the very missing piece to complete your puzzle. It’s a trap. Ayaw pa dala dayon dzai!
Yup, expect the long silence. Not that long, but long enough to make you wonder - three days, or maybe a week. They are building your anticipation. They know us women are waiting for the “follow up” message. They know we wouldn’t be texting them first because that would make us appear clingy.
They have this part of the chase figured out. Trust me. So don’t panic.
They will come up with well sounding excuses - school, parents, travel - whatever that sounds convincing. For sure they’ll try to use it up. And of course, we will understand. Abi pa lang clingy. So we smile and say, "it’s okay". But of course deep inside we know it’s not.
This is the fun part - at least temporarily. You will start getting the good morning messages, the did-you-eat-already texts, the good nights, and all those giddy words of nothingness every freaking second.
Again, wag magpadala. Uso ang scheduled text option sa mga app. It might be a group text. Who knows?
Deeper conversations start to develop. He paints a picture of Nirvana. He tailors a future with you in it. You no longer just talk about your likes. You talk about your ambition, your goals, your innermost feelings.
Slowly, you adjust your plans to fit his. Yes, at this point, a little falling is happening. Brace yourself.
This comes in many forms depending on the players’ skill and guts. Some will invest on lavish gifts or magnanimous surprises. Some are even willing to meet your friends and family just so you will have that “he must be serious with me” thoughts. Again, skilled players perfected this move. Don’t easily fall for it.
He met your family, he introduced you to his, you are each other’s everything at this point. Who else would wish for more?
Well - only if these were real and not orchestrated actions, it would have been the highlight of any romance. At this point, everything feels surreal and perfect. Little fights, but nothing fatal.
The most blissful part of them all - you are at peace of your status – with or without label.
This part is the turning point of your pseudo relationship. Sure you are enjoying each other's company. You love what it is that you have. You are comfortable and blessed to have each other. But then you cannot help but wonder, what exactly is it that you two have? A relationship or just a meaningful intimate friendship?
Of course us women will always want or somehow expect monogamy and exclusivity from the person we invest our time and feelings with, wouldn't we?
At this point we are scared to ask. We do not want to ruin what it is we are having, and at the same time we are scared of not having a concrete grip on the emotional investment we are making on someone.
We are conflicted between pulling away or risking it all the way. We become cold and withdrawn for no apparent reason - a protest in silence for not being labelled the girlfriend.
Then suddenly we realize, "why should I expect something from him when he never asked or guaranteed me anything in the first place?". Then we magically revert back to our old jolly self as if nothing is bothering us.
Girls, don’t assume guys are that dense or insensitive. They are capable of reading us more than we think they can. They always have their own "men's radar" or instinct. Wait and see what a player does.
Well, practiced players can tell something is off with you and they will try to soothe those doubts. They will, usually in words, oftentimes in action, reassure you that you are making the right kind of emotional investment on them. That their intentions are clean and that they will never hurt somebody like you.
Yes, at this point, they are capable of winning an acting award. They will do whatever it is to make you stay in a label-less relationship. They want to make you feel that everything is okay and just let time dictate the course of your "relationship".
Convincing kaayo ang ilang acting diri, promise. You would actually think nothing is wrong - but of course something is. Just wait.
Just when you're fully convinced everything is okay between the two of you - he drops the BOMB! Yes, he has done a long pause in the past, the one I described in #3, and you would easily assume that he is just pulling off another one like the last time and that somehow he will emerge with a sounding excuse when he comes back.
This wouldn’t get you extremely worried - YET. You are hopeful, you are optimistic that it’s just one of those times. BUT girl, you are dead wrong. Sorry to break it to you, cause it's time for #12.
This is the heart breaking part. You actually have done nothing wrong. You simply went by the flow. You followed his lead. You were feeling the moment. You had all your guards down and BOOM! Surprise, surprise - IT WAS ALL A GAME. Whoever falls first, loses!
Girls, you see, seasoned players never leave you when they do something bad. They will take their exit at the moment you least expect it. They don’t want you to hate them. They want to leave a good lasting image of them so that you always remember them as the one who had it all. The one who got away.
So that when it's time to recycle someone from his growing list of victims, you will always give him that second chance cause after all, he was not that bad when he left.
Guys, sorry if I’m busting your game plans. Girls, I just want you to be aware.
There will always be a rainbow after the rain. You will be wiser the next time around. The best days are yet to come. See me in the comments section below!
I am not saying all men are the same. It’s just that it has become a habitual flaw from my friends' sinaktan stories. So I’ve come to a conclusion of how similar they are in deed. Siguro based on a slight experience na rin.
Decoding a "Player's Pattern"
#1
He Messages You Randomly
Like super randomly without legit purpose. I guess this is their way of validating if the interest is mutual.
They are of course filtering their prospects. They categorize which one they want to seriously pursue and which one is readily available to fill in and boost their ego when they are feeling low.
Hope that you are categorized on the better side of it. Otherwise, it’s a heartbreak in the making.
#2
The Conversation Will Always Begin With Your Interest
...even your weaknesses.
Do not underestimate the capacity of these men to stalk. They will read your wall and see what you have been ranting about. They will study your profile and make you feel like you've known each other all your life and that he was the very missing piece to complete your puzzle. It’s a trap. Ayaw pa dala dayon dzai!
#3
The LONG Pause ...
Yup, expect the long silence. Not that long, but long enough to make you wonder - three days, or maybe a week. They are building your anticipation. They know us women are waiting for the “follow up” message. They know we wouldn’t be texting them first because that would make us appear clingy.
They have this part of the chase figured out. Trust me. So don’t panic.
#4
The Explanation
They will come up with well sounding excuses - school, parents, travel - whatever that sounds convincing. For sure they’ll try to use it up. And of course, we will understand. Abi pa lang clingy. So we smile and say, "it’s okay". But of course deep inside we know it’s not.
#5
The Fabricated CONSISTENCY
This is the fun part - at least temporarily. You will start getting the good morning messages, the did-you-eat-already texts, the good nights, and all those giddy words of nothingness every freaking second.
Again, wag magpadala. Uso ang scheduled text option sa mga app. It might be a group text. Who knows?
#6
The “Iba Na To” Level
Deeper conversations start to develop. He paints a picture of Nirvana. He tailors a future with you in it. You no longer just talk about your likes. You talk about your ambition, your goals, your innermost feelings.
Slowly, you adjust your plans to fit his. Yes, at this point, a little falling is happening. Brace yourself.
#7
The BEST FOOT FORWARD
This comes in many forms depending on the players’ skill and guts. Some will invest on lavish gifts or magnanimous surprises. Some are even willing to meet your friends and family just so you will have that “he must be serious with me” thoughts. Again, skilled players perfected this move. Don’t easily fall for it.
#8
The Peak
He met your family, he introduced you to his, you are each other’s everything at this point. Who else would wish for more?
Well - only if these were real and not orchestrated actions, it would have been the highlight of any romance. At this point, everything feels surreal and perfect. Little fights, but nothing fatal.
The most blissful part of them all - you are at peace of your status – with or without label.
#9
In limbo
This part is the turning point of your pseudo relationship. Sure you are enjoying each other's company. You love what it is that you have. You are comfortable and blessed to have each other. But then you cannot help but wonder, what exactly is it that you two have? A relationship or just a meaningful intimate friendship?
Of course us women will always want or somehow expect monogamy and exclusivity from the person we invest our time and feelings with, wouldn't we?
At this point we are scared to ask. We do not want to ruin what it is we are having, and at the same time we are scared of not having a concrete grip on the emotional investment we are making on someone.
We are conflicted between pulling away or risking it all the way. We become cold and withdrawn for no apparent reason - a protest in silence for not being labelled the girlfriend.
Then suddenly we realize, "why should I expect something from him when he never asked or guaranteed me anything in the first place?". Then we magically revert back to our old jolly self as if nothing is bothering us.
Girls, don’t assume guys are that dense or insensitive. They are capable of reading us more than we think they can. They always have their own "men's radar" or instinct. Wait and see what a player does.
#10
False Reassurance
Well, practiced players can tell something is off with you and they will try to soothe those doubts. They will, usually in words, oftentimes in action, reassure you that you are making the right kind of emotional investment on them. That their intentions are clean and that they will never hurt somebody like you.
Yes, at this point, they are capable of winning an acting award. They will do whatever it is to make you stay in a label-less relationship. They want to make you feel that everything is okay and just let time dictate the course of your "relationship".
Convincing kaayo ang ilang acting diri, promise. You would actually think nothing is wrong - but of course something is. Just wait.
#11
The Pulling Away
Just when you're fully convinced everything is okay between the two of you - he drops the BOMB! Yes, he has done a long pause in the past, the one I described in #3, and you would easily assume that he is just pulling off another one like the last time and that somehow he will emerge with a sounding excuse when he comes back.
This wouldn’t get you extremely worried - YET. You are hopeful, you are optimistic that it’s just one of those times. BUT girl, you are dead wrong. Sorry to break it to you, cause it's time for #12.
#12
Game Over
This is the heart breaking part. You actually have done nothing wrong. You simply went by the flow. You followed his lead. You were feeling the moment. You had all your guards down and BOOM! Surprise, surprise - IT WAS ALL A GAME. Whoever falls first, loses!
Girls, you see, seasoned players never leave you when they do something bad. They will take their exit at the moment you least expect it. They don’t want you to hate them. They want to leave a good lasting image of them so that you always remember them as the one who had it all. The one who got away.
So that when it's time to recycle someone from his growing list of victims, you will always give him that second chance cause after all, he was not that bad when he left.
Guys, sorry if I’m busting your game plans. Girls, I just want you to be aware.
There will always be a rainbow after the rain. You will be wiser the next time around. The best days are yet to come. See me in the comments section below!
